As we approach Valentine's Day, it seems appropriate to look at the kind of "romance" that keeps couples together for 40 to 50 years and more.
So you finally got rid of that dead-beat husband. It's all good except you've lost the big, lazy foot-warmer you had for your bed. Yes, you could get a dog, but you'd have to get a mastiff or great Dane to provide the same slobbering heat output. And then it would probably snore as loud as old Bob, and you'd need to follow it with a wheelbarrow when you took it for a "walk."
• Elks put the roast on Wayne Crawford to benefit the Samuel Dixon Family Health Centers.