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Steve Lunetta: Letters ask the questions of the year

Posted: January 7, 2013 2:00 a.m.
Updated: January 7, 2013 2:00 a.m.
 

Here at the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, we get numerous letters that scream to be published. Some are profane, some are funny and some are thoughtful. However, they never fail to entertain.

Dear VRWC: Well, Lunetta, what do you think of my “fiscal cliff” solution? Kept the government running and made the Republicans look bad at the same time! Heh, heh. B. Obama, Washington

Dear BO: There seems to be a large amount of backslapping over a mere temporary solution. Nothing was really solved. O’Connell and Boehner had to move mountains to work with you and had to bypass Harry Reid to get it done.

It is pathetic that the majority of Americans no longer think that fiscal responsibility is a primary role of government. We are truly in dangerous waters.

Dear Right-Wing Crazies: Why did you criticize my historic picture of all the female legislators on Capitol Hill? I had to Photoshop in the four missing representatives. What’s the big deal? N. Pelosi, RG3’s hometown

Dear NP: Yes, you photoshopped in four missing people. But you also changed a black lady to a white man, a white lady to a black lady, added two additional people, and changed the orientation of another person to not look like an idiot.

Seems like you are more interested in marketing your perception of truth than showcasing the progress of women.

Dear VRWC: Shouldn’t children be allowed to express themselves in whatever manner they wish? Our children should use college as an experience and not worry about academics! A progressive parent in Newhall

Dear Progressive: Wrong! Parents who think this way are fools. College is not about the “experience,” but about education. If you let your kid get a degree in Eskimo Studies or Classics or Cultural Anthropology, you are throwing your money away.

Take it from the parent of a now-unemployed UC graduate, companies look for real skills and job experience (read: internships) to hire. Also, don’t waste money on study-abroad programs. There is time for that after graduation.

Dear Steve: what do you think of the Dodgers for next season? Magic, Guggenheimlich Group

Dear Magic: Finally! We are free of McCourt! And the new owners have spent big to bring in new talent. But we all know that chemistry is what makes a winning ball club, no matter how much “talent” a team has. The Dodgers were showing chemistry at the end of last season. Let’s hope it restarts in Spring Training next month.

Dear Republicans: I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. A Certain Dem Voices Columnist, Venus

Dear CDVC: Yeah, we know. There are several columnists who, although we are left or right in our leanings, often give voice to the opposing viewpoint. To share the same shrill talking points of the left all the time gets rather annoying and tedious.

Dear VRWC: we know that there is no Uncle Earl! We can prove it! Hortense Who, Valencia

Dear Who: Uncle Earl is real! He occupies the minds of all responsible patriots. He reminds us that truth sacrificed on the altar of political correctness is the ultimate danger to the Republic.

He speaks what needs to be said in a way that disregards pretense and pomp. I will crush the left! [Earl, get away from that keyboard. Sorry, folks.]

Chers Americains conservateurs d’impots: Thank you for supporting my tax war against the French socialists! G. Depardieu, Moscow

Dear G: Yes, we heard you recently got Russian citizenship after ostensibly moving to Belgium. The tax rate is only 15 percent in Russia while it is 75 percent in France.

Do you mean that rich people can move away from the place with high taxes and avoid paying outlandish assessments? Seems like a lesson that American socialists need to learn.

Dear VRWC: How do you like your new iPhone? Pretty cool, eh? S. Jobs, nerd heaven

Dear SJ: The iPhone seems to be redefining the standard in personal communications and computing. I can now do essentially the same jobs on my phone that I can do on my desktop or laptop. The thing is more powerful than Spock’s tricorder (and far less bulky). Beam me up, Mr. Scott!

Dear VRWC: The columns are as good as ever! Long live free speech. E. Bobeck, regular heaven

Dear EB: thanks, Mom.

Once again, thanks to all of our loyal readers. Here’s to the start of a great and productive 2013!

Steve Lunetta is a resident of Placerita Canyon and is praying for the return of common sense to the people of California and the United States in 2013. He can be reached at slunetta63@yahoo.com

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