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Letter: Beyond “How you doing?”

Posted: October 16, 2012 2:00 a.m.
Updated: October 16, 2012 2:00 a.m.
 

“The new age 80 is the old 65” is meant to be humorous. If you’re 80, you feel 80 when you get out of bed in the morning.

So many things are different. However, the one absolute truth is: There will be a point where one needs loving concern and another’s willingness to help.

Some of us seniors might be too independent or proud to request or accept help. Others need and welcome assistance.

General questions tend to get vague answers; direct questions and possible follow-ups will secure more truthful and positive results.

Don’t ask us how we feel. The question should be, “Have you had your yearly physical?” Follow it up with, “What did the lab reports indicate and the doctor tell you?”

“Need any help around the house or in the yard? Is your computer working right? Is the car running well?

“Have you figured out your new camera’s system? Are you up-to-date on your insurance payments?” The important questions are endless.

Phone and visit us often. When visiting, be aware of any sudden changes in our health and appearance, the interior/exterior home’s physical condition.

Make it a point to check the refrigerator to see that all looks normal and stocked in a normal fashion. Deterioration in important areas and matters is a sure sign of possible present and future problems.

This may be a delicate subject for both parties; where able, one should be aware of the financial situation. Money plays a major factor in one’s present and future.

The questions and concerns should be as numerous as their needs, and finding solutions should be of paramount concern.

Just over a year ago, my mother died two weeks shy of her 100th birthday. In her last years, her needs were great.

Being the eldest sibling and having the power of attorney presented me with both a learning process and a fulfilling task.

In similar situations, matters are best handled with the assistance of experts in medicine, law, religion and social matters.

If you care, your actions are certainly louder than empty greetings.

 

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