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Letter: An explanation for ‘sloppy’ attire

Posted: September 1, 2012 2:00 a.m.
Updated: September 1, 2012 2:00 a.m.
 

The next time your readers see a gentleman wearing his sport shirt on the outside rather than tucked in, I hope they will not be too quick to label him a sloppy dresser.

I recently joined the growing number of men who wear shirts on the outside, so I thought I should explain lest people think I’m “California Casual” and a poor dresser.

Here are the facts: I’ve always been skinny. In school I was the skinniest kid in all my classes and I’ve been thin for all of my life and — I always used to tuck my shirt in.

However, now that I am well into my senior years, a strange thing has happened to my body. I’m still thin but I’ve developed a belly. It’s a terrible thing.

Someone once said, “If I knew I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of my body.” That certainly applies to my body. Firm abs? Forget it! I don’t think I have abs; if I do, they’re absent abs.

So I have good reason to join the shirt-out-belly-bunch. I had no idea a belly could be such a problem. In addition to looking like I just swallowed a small watermelon or having the distinction of being the first male to become pregnant, there is the problem of keeping my pants up. It’s not easy.

No matter how tight I make my belt, gravity will rather quickly drag it to the bottom of my belly. The result is that I get the feeling that at any minute my pants are going to fall down.

So now that your readers have all the facts, I know they will be kind and understanding. I’m sure that the next time they see a man over 40 wearing his shirt out, they will know that he has something to hide.

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