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Karen Maleck-Whiteley: So many things are going right today!

Live Well Stress Less

Posted: September 2, 2010 6:59 p.m.
Updated: September 3, 2010 4:55 a.m.
 

Have you ever had one of those days? Of course you have. We all have them. The ones where nothing seems to go right. And that is just what many of us say on those days: “Nothing is going right today!” Now stop and think about this.

This is never a true statement. Each and every day, there must be tens, hundreds and even thousands of things that go right, just for us to be able to function. Many of these things do so really quietly, so we never even notice.

They just keep on going right — right under our noses.

It just seems like it’s the noisy, irritating, pushy and inconvenient things that go wrong we notice. Then we tend to dwell on them, worry about them, talk about them with our friends, and sometimes blow them up into bigger deals than they deserve to be.

Sometimes, despite the multitude of small, consistent, wonderfully right things, we allow just one wrong thing to ruin our day.

When we do this, we are giving great power to a sometimes random event. We are allowing a traffic jam, a missed appointment, a rude clerk or an unthinking relative or friend to actually change our internal state and color the experience of our day.

We give the event even more power when we keep thinking of it or share it with others. When we replay these things, it’s like experiencing them over and over again — we give ourselves even more “things are going wrong” feelings and beliefs.

The antidote is very simple, and requires only that you use the same human abilities to dwell on, think about, and talk about the things that are going right. You may be thinking “This is just another method of positive thinking.” It is, and it works.

When you try it, you’ll find that the more you focus on all those things that go right, the more you’ll recognize them, cherish them, thank them, and the more of them you’ll see. They are much more fun, rewarding, and useful to think about than those things that went wrong.

You can do this many ways:
* Each morning or evening, set aside some time to think about what is going right. Do it in the shower, on your commute, before falling asleep.

* Start a journal of things that went right. Keep it by your desk and jot down some items through out the day as they occur.

Or make a file on the desktop of your computer that you can easily type into as you think of items throughout the day. Put up a blank piece of poster paper on the refrigerator and encourage your family to write things that went right on the board.

Thank those around you for being one of the things that went right. After attending a luncheon, local chiropractor Dr.

Joanne Buettner sent each of us who sat at her table a note telling us how we were one of her “things that went right.”

You can send an e-mail, write a post-it, or send an honest-to goodness note card like she did.

* Get a “things that are going right” partner, and help each other remember and say at least 10 things that went right each day — or exchange e-mails reporting in. You can also ask your partner to catch you when you start to get stuck on one of the “things that went wrong” and help you shift your focus in the moment.

* Order the “A Thousand Things That Went Right Today” kit that Ilan Shamir sells on his web site www.yourtruenature.com/appreciation-items. This is a simple and colorful kit that teachers or business people can use to help themselves and others to do this, and it only costs $29.95. Listen to my Five4Me podcast “So Many Things Are Going Right” and use it daily to help you learn to focus on what is going right. This visualization allows you to put this into action merely by listening and following along. How great is that? It’s free, and it only takes five minutes to listen — two more things that are going right. Get the podcast at http://five4me.podhoster.com. Type the title into the search bar on the left above the word “archive,” and the track will come up so you can listen or download.

You get the idea. So go on and make this moment one of the things that went right by getting started now. What’s going right for you so far today? See how it works? That’s it. And if you really do apply it regularly, you’ll see wonderful things happen with your feelings, your mood, your results, and in the people around you, even if you are in the midst of one of your worst days or weeks.

Celebrate and notice little things, as well as the big ones. All the things that went right are valuable and deserve attention. And there really are thousands of them in any one day. By the way, thanks for reading this, and for being one of things that went right in my day.

Karen Maleck-Whiteley is a certified hypnotherapist, coach, speaker, and author. She is also the co-owner of Balance Point Spa in Canyon Country and does individual coaching and hypnotherapy sessions. Find out more by visiting BalancePointSpa.com or calling (661) 252-0650.

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