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Listen, Mom

Posted: December 29, 2009 9:28 p.m.
Updated: December 29, 2009 4:55 a.m.
 
Health care is like a right in America.

I mean, come on, we are like the only country in the world that doesn’t care about its people. People are dying and going broke in this country. What is wrong with us?

The other countries are so much better. It’s proven. And listen, Mom, don’t say Americans are the best. That is like hate speech against the other countries, you know.

It’ll be fine. Most people really think this is the way to go, and I’m sure they know more than you. So don’t worry, OK?

It’s a new world now, Mom; we have the Internet and everything, and it’s made the world better.

We care more about the earth now than you did; we are not as judgmental, and it’s good. I mean, look, we now have a black president, right?

And, yeah, we all should have to help and pay for each other, especially for those who can’t pay for themselves. Don’t you think that is what being “Christian” is all about?

Oh, Mom, you don’t know what socialism means. But I love you, and can I have 20 bucks for Taco Bell before class?

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