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Steve Lunetta: Bush, we hardly knew you

Posted: May 16, 2009 9:06 p.m.
Updated: May 18, 2009 4:55 a.m.
 
How could you embarrass us this way, George?

The latest revelations about your first 100 days in office are truly shocking. They cover the wire services and fill the evening news.

Couldn't your press secretary have managed this better? Where were your perception doctors and spin-control? Was Karl Rove on vacation?

How many gaffes did you make? Of course, we in the media will be more than happy to report on them now. It sells papers. It attracts viewers. It increases listeners. Bagging on conservatives is always great sport.

And you, Bush, gave us ample material during your presidency. In fact, you did the following in the first 100 days of your presidency.

You went on Leno and talked about how bad a bowler you were. You said, "it was like the Special Olympics or something."

Are you implying that all mentally handicapped folks are bad bowlers? Are Special Olympians pitiful people because they don't bowl well?

Your statement was truly offensive. But you did have the guts to call Tim Shriver, the president of Special Olympics, and apologize to him for your insensitive comments.

Then you spoke to an Austrian reporter during a trip to Europe and you said, "There's a lot of - I don't know what the term is in Austrian - wheeling and dealing - and, you know, people are pursuing their interests, and everybody has their own particular issues and their own particular politics."

George, I hate to break it to you but there is no "Austrian" language. Did you ever see "The Sound of Music?" They speak English there, with bad German accents.

President Bush, you should have never bowed to the king of Saudi Arabia. Besides the fact that he runs a near-totalitarian state that has rumored financial ties to terrorist organizations, our president does not bow to any foreign power. Americans do not bow to foreign powers.

Thomas Paine asserted that ordinary people or "one honest man" was worth more than "all the crowned ruffians that ever lived."

We fought against monarchy, unmerited privilege and inherited aristocracy. It's at the core of who we are as Americans.

Bush, you seem to have forgotten that fact when you bowed to a foreign king.

You fired the CEO of a major American corporation. I am looking at my copy of the Constitution and I don't see where it gives you the right to do this. Does this mean you have the right to fire anyone? Could I get canned just because you said so?

I heard that you also gave an iPod that had copies of your speeches to the Queen of England. Wow, I bet that knocked ol' queenie off her throne. I'll bet it took one of your staffers at least 10 minutes to think of that one.

I'll bet this was the same guy who thought flying Air Force One on a low-level path through New York followed closely by fighter aircraft was a good idea.

Bush, didn't anyone on your staff remember that 3,000 Americans died in a similar scenario? I'm sure all of the panicked and frightened New Yorkers appreciated the irony.

And, Bush, why did you fill your staff and cabinet with people who don't seem to be able to complete their tax forms properly?

Those guys over at TurboTax make a pretty good product - there is even a section for wages paid to illegal immigrant nannies to take care of kids. I'll bet your staff would really benefit from that.

During a visit from Britain's prime minister, you gave him a boxed set of 25 DVDs of American movies. I heard they still had the Blockbuster tags on them.

Broke the bank on that one, didn't you, Mr. President? Rough gift for our best friend in the world.

The prime minister, in return, gave you an ornamental pen holder made from a Victorian-era anti-slave ship. He gave you Tiffany's. You gave him K-Mart.

Finally, you proposed to double our national debt, which had taken two centuries to accumulate.

You claimed to be fiscally mild-mannered but turned out to be the most undisciplined free-spender in our nation's history.

I'm so ashamed, George. It's fortunate that people like me are here to trumpet your failures.

What's that? I have my facts wrong? You mean to tell me that all of these incidents were not connected to George Bush, but were actually Barack Obama? And all of this happened in Obama's first 100 days?

Why didn't we hear about these in the news? Where were the networks? Where were the reporters? Where was the excruciating and detailed coverage along with the mocking commentary from CNN?

Its nice to see that incompetence and naiveté are alive and well in the Obama White House.

Let's just hope it doesn't do us serious damage in the future.

Steve Lunetta is a Santa Clarita resident. His column reflects his own views, not necessarily those of The Signal. "Right About Now" runs Mondays in The Signal.

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