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Gary Horton: Obama is the most boring president ever

Posted: June 25, 2014 2:00 a.m.
Updated: June 25, 2014 2:00 a.m.

I have a good friend who takes marching orders through the tin foil hat atop his head perpetually tuned to Fox and Friends and all else owned and distributed by Rupert Murdoch.

Accordingly, he’s not much of a Barack Obama fan. But matters weren’t helped much this past week when an opinion poll came out citing Barack Obama was hitting the gutter-ball low point of his career as viewed by the “American public.”

Said friend wrote in scathing emails to my overflowing email address:

“I have enough pride in my country to want the president, regardless of political party, to succeed. So I don’t want him out because he is a Dem or a liberal; I just want him out because today and right now he is the — all-capital letters here — worst president in decades — capitals end here — and he’s not done yet.”

And then the usual blah blah about rising medical rates and keep your doctor, and so much more minor stuff made out to be as serious as a new terrorist attack.

There’s a majority of folks over 70 years of age and of primarily white descent who feel as my friend does.

And my friend just happens to be part of the staunch 30 percent of under-70-year-old white guy Republicans who also happen to feel that way.

But, these demographics aside, I really don’t think Obama’s drop in the polls is a racial issue, aside from the 20 percent of Americans of mostly Southern affiliation who’d readily bring back slavery, given half a chance.

No. Obama’s polling problems aren’t overwhelmingly racial or demographic.

It’s much more the Hollywood-action-movie, video game, shoot-‘em-up, WWF, NFL violence, guns-everywhere, eyes-glued-to-iPhone American culture that has Barack sucking wind on the last lap of his presidency.

The short stroke is that the 24/7 news cycle, ultra-high violence, ultra-shot attention span American public has simply gotten bored.

And in a shock-jock radio culture, a thoughtful, quiet president, “quietly minding the store” certainly doesn’t amp up the ratings.

The American electorate is yawning. Bored, bored, bored.

We wake up and, if we’re literate, we walk out to the driveway and pick up our Signal, or, if reading’s too hard, we turn on the TV and have some bubble-headed booby blonde read us the news — and we learn that, as much as they try to sound sensational, yesterday wasn’t much different than the day before, and that today is going to be more of the same.

Days turn to weeks turn to months, and nothing much to get excited about actually affects you or me. Yawn.

We’ve got no jetliners flying into skyscrapers or into the Pentagon. We’ve got no anthrax in envelope scares. No government officials urging us to “duct tape our windows!”

We’ve not been made to be afraid of “evil-doers” behind every door, corner and window. We’ve not launched any new wars with new “Collin Powels” lying through clenched teeth about supposed mobile weapons labs.

And we’ve not “mission accomplished” anything on any aircraft carrier anywhere.

No one has bombed our Marine barracks in Lebanon, killing 299 soldiers without warning. We’ve not had a dinghy pull up to a USS Cole and blow the sides to smithereens, killing 17 servicemen.

No, “no fly zones,” no mega-bombing wars in Europe, no Oklahoma City bombings taking out 166 people and wounding 660 others.

We’ve not had disputed elections with the Supreme Court literally picking our next president. No mile-long gas lines, no stock market crashes wiping out your life savings, no real estate busts literally costing you house and home.

No mass bank failures, no Hurricane Katrina failed responses killing over 1,000 helpless Americans while an inept president congratulates the local FEMA with a, “Great job, Brownie.”

None of it, save small things trumped up large.

Instead, we have record low interest rates, record high stock markets, rising home prices, improving job prospects, lowering public debt, peace at home and servicemen coming home from abroad.

We sadly lost four Americans in Benghazi, and we’ve left Arab states to sort their 3,000-year-long running problems out themselves — while we’re standing by as Russia and their former Ukraine arm wrestle for most corrupt government in Eastern Europe.

Meanwhile, 10 million more Americans have health care, while the rest of us have generally improved benefits and more and more of us are working and are succeeding again.

What a yawn. Boring. Bring out the smelling salts. Things have become so predictable we’ve even got time to argue over carbon pollution.

For an America that prefers cage fighting to “Leave It To Beaver,” Barack Obama plays like a real sleeper. But if you happen to be a more a peaceable type, knowing that tomorrow’s news will be nothing special and getting a good night’s sleep tonight are both pretty good things.

I’ll take a boring newspaper read and an easy doze at the end of a productive day over the trauma of recent past presidencies.

Gary Horton is a Santa Clarita resident. “Full Speed to Port!” appears Wednesdays in The Signal.



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